What is self-leadership and why is self-leadership coaching important in your business & career
Whether you call it personal development, self-improvement or self-leadership, to me, it all comes back to the same concept: developing self-awareness, self-knowledge.
These concepts are not only about growing as a human being through life experiences but also expanding our consciousness to embody our authentic self, and practice self-love and radical self-acceptance.
When you can do this for yourself, you can do this for others and also inspire them to do the same.
We will tackle:
what a leader is and
how you can embody self-leadership (aka the 7 principles of self-leadership)
the benefits of personal development coaching (aka self-leadership coaching) and how it can change your life for the better
Why is leadership coaching important?
A little backstory about self-leadership
When I look back on my personal development journey but also on my business' path and evolution, I can clearly see that all this time, I have been leading myself and encouraging my clients to become the next-level version of themselves. No matter which service you'd team up with me for, it'd always come down to the same principles:
opening your own eyes to your own potential, to unlock it and own who you are
giving you the tools to keep growing.
As some of you may (or may not) know, I am a certified personal development coach, personal development is everything to me!
Personal development and self-leadership are the same thing, in my humble opinion.
Why? Because when you work on your own self-improvement and personal development, you're leading yourself to reach your next level of self-leadership embodiment on your self-growth journey.
Everything comes from within - It's a Universal Law, the Law of Correspondence
Each pattern that exists in the Universe can be found at any scales - macrocosm and microcosm.
In other words, everything is created according to the same pattern, it is the famous “As above, so below, as within, so without”. The outside is a reflection of the inside and vice versa.
We see the world according to how we see ourselves. We are all One with everything, we are therefore One with ourselves. The physical, mental, emotional, spiritual aspects are found in the Universe and also in ourselves (as the whole being that we are).
Side note, I talk about this and about the universal Laws in my ebook:
According to this law, the outside is a reflection of the inside and we can definitely take responsibility for our reality: the way we see ourselves, the way we see certain events.
Even if we can't always control what is happening around us (because we are all co-creators and each action has its consequences) we can of course take full responsibility for our inner environment.
So, why is leadership and self-leadership important?
A few outcomes of self-leadership coaching
The more you decide to work on yourself, clear false beliefs, heal your traumas and find your truth, the more your consciousness will expand.
You will deactivate impulsive reactions and some painful emotional responses so that some things or situations won't trigger you anymore. You will reach more emotional freedom and emotional balance.
You will also heal shame and guilt which are 2 big emotions and feelings that are really harmful if we don't express them.
You don't need to carry shame, you don't need to carry guilt - no one does... You just need to radically accept yourself and take full responsibility for the way you feel, act, react and think.
You need to disengage from judgment (well all do, as a collective) and accept you're human, things happen and you can change your perception of things, of situations and of yourself.
Your mindset will also improve, the more you become aware of your false beliefs and thought patterns, the more you can understand them and shift them to take control.
Taking control doesn't have to be forceful, it starts with realising your pattern. You can't shift something you're not aware of, right?
After realising, you need to observe without engaging, just notice what comes up
Then you can shift and that's when expansion happens, that's when you're embodying self-leadership to the next level.
What is a leader?
Of course, the dictionary will say something like "someone who leads".
A leader can lead other people, a business, a team, a country.
But first and foremost a leader needs to lead himself/herself.
To me, being a leader is about self-leadership and self-leadership is about being the leader of your own life and walking the talk, not only talking the talk. It's leading by example to create more impact.
In order to lead by example, you need to go all in first.
It does NOT mean being perfect, fully healed and having no more false beliefs or wounds or trauma.
It does NOT mean you have it all together all the time, that you don't have "bad days" and that you are always positive and optimistic, living in the land of rainbows and unicorns :)
As an entrepreneur, you are a leader. Period.
Even if you don't have a team, even if you don't have thousands of followers on social media, even if you're not making 5 or 6-figure months. None of this matters when it comes to self-leadership.
An executive is a leader even if he or she doesn't manage a team.
Artists, writers and athletes are leaders.
You can totally be an "unconventional" leader, being your own unique self.
You're a leader when you lead yourself, when impact your clients, audience, community, coworkers, family, friends...
You impact people by realising that:
you matter and you can create impact,
everything is energy,
it all starts with you and within you.
What does "embodying self-leadership" mean?
To me, embodying self-leadership involves 7 principles:
Self-transparency and Self-knowledge (or will to know yourself). I am putting them together because in order to know yourself, you need to be willing to be honest with yourself and look at every aspect of your life and personality without bypassing.
Self-awareness: being aware of what you can do and what you need to improve, being aware that everything is energy and that you play a role on the people around you
Self-acceptance: accepting who you are, as a human, for everything you are
Self-responsibility: taking responsibility for your actions, your results, letting go of blaming and shaming yourself or others, being accountable
Self-reflection: questioning yourself from a place of expansion
Self-leadership is also about emotional intelligence (= the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. Oxford languages)
Taming the ego and quieting the mind as a leader
Ego is NOT bad, I will never repeat this enough.
It's a component of the human mind, of human nature
(side note: all the New Age concepts who are telling you to get rid of your ego and that ego is bad are dangerous... you can't get rid of your ego, it's as silly as wanting to get rid of your toes, why would you do that? There's a difference between "getting rid of it" and "learning to tame it and silence your mind")
However, taming the ego, knowing how and when to use it is a life-changer.
Quieting the mind is a must as a leader. It doesn't mean the mind is not active sometimes or that you never get negative thoughts. It simply means you are aware and taking the lead (vs letting the mind overpower your whole being)
But the more you work on healing your wounds and developing a growth mindset, the less and less difficult it becomes to shift your thoughts and choose positive scenarios
Realizing you have the choice
When you decide to raise your awareness, you will see that you have choices.
For example in certain situations, you will observe and realize that the "old you" would have gotten angry at something your mother-in-law said but the "now you" understands the bigger picture, sees the patterns and consciously chooses not to engage.
Responding to life instead of reacting.
You stand in your power and you don't let external situations affect you more or longer than necessary.
Ex: You have a big deadline at work, you can choose to feel stressed and wonder if you'll finish on time or clear your head, trust yourself and go all in trusting you will.
As I said above, we're not about by-pass here. It's not about pretending that all is ok if it's not.
It's about giving yourself the grace and presence not to feel ok if you don't feel ok, to communicate your emotions and opinions fearlessly and in a constructive way.
Being a leader is not about being condescending or arrogant. Setting boundaries is healthy, acknowledging your talents and achievements is healthy and all of this can be done without belittling or shaming others, in a way that is empowering and showing them that they can do it too.
What does leadership coaching consist in?
Self-leadership is about having your mind work for you and not against you.
Let's take an example: in my 8-week program called Unshakeable we work on clearing subconscious beliefs and stuck energies so you can uncover false mind programming, gain awareness on how they have been affecting you and have tools to shift that so you can develop habits that serve you.
The way I practice? I mix energy and coaching to go deeper and help you shift faster. You can book your free clarity call via this page or send me an email if you'd like to know more and see if it's a good fit for you :)
When you lead yourself, you need to deal with self-doubt, self-sabotage, triggers, fears of all sorts...
There are different symptoms that can show self-doubt and self-sabotage: procrastination, perfectionism, overwhelm, negative self-talk, self-punishment... you might not be aware you're doing these things.
Or maybe you are and you don't know how to shift them. (We tackle all that).
Dealing with self-sabotage while embodying self-leadership: you can be both a masterpiece AND a work in progress!
Have you ever heard the saying "you are both a masterpiece and a work in progress"? Well, that's pretty much what I mean when I talk about self-sabotage while embodying self-leadership.
In this episode, I tell you my perception of what a leader is and what it means to me to embody self-leadership.
Awareness comes in different levels, so does self-leadership and you are a leader, that's in your nature. So even if you self-sabotage and if sometimes you have negative self-talks and your mind works against you, it doesn't change anything to the fact that you're a leader. You're still leading yourself.
However, you can make your life easier and create more peace when you become aware of your self-sabotaging tendencies and that's exactly what this episode is aiming at doing.
Grab your favorite drink and enjoy these few minutes in my company!
You can listen to this episode right here (below) or save it for later and listen on your favorite platform by clicking here.
Let's bust a myth "if you haven't reached your goal yet, it means you don't want it bad enough"
Hmmm... while I do agree that you can always reach your goals if you give those goals your 100%, it doesn't mean it's going to be a short and straight road (although it is possible, but not always the case!).
Let's say you've been working hard on something and you're still not seeing your desired outcomes...
Does it mean you don't want it bad enough? NO!!!
Does it mean you have subconscious blocks? Yes, probably
Does it mean you're human? Yes.
Does it have anything to do with "not being good enough" or "being unworthy"? Definitely not.
We all have subconscious blocks to an extend because healing and expansion happen by layers so it's only normal that there will be resistance and you'll feel stuck... it just means you need a new perspective, a breakthrough and you're on to your next level.
The key elements to developing growth mindset
I believe the key to growth mindset and self-leadership is having the attitude of a "mad scientist" (as I always say, basically, experimenting) and asking yourself
"what is this teaching me?"
"how can I grow from this?"
"what can I learn about <situation> or myself from this?"
It's about choosing
choosing to see situations in your business in terms of lessons and not taking it personally.
choosing to believe (or actually trust!) that everything always unfolds in a way that will benefit you, whether it is in terms of your desired outcomes or experience to grow from so it doesn't repeat.
choosing to think in terms of solutions, trusting there's always a solution and being on a quest to find it.
choosing to see life as a succession of experiments, from a place of seeing what works best and what can be adjusted (hence the "mad scientist" image I always use, to use some humour :) )
Emotional healing and honoring your emotions.
Emotions are energy in motion, they're meant to flow (otherwise they'd be called "estuck" or "estagnant", you get the idea...).
Giving yourself the time, space and presence to process them without judging yourself for feeling them and not letting emotions mean something about you.
You're not a bad or aggressive human because you're experiencing anger.
How could you be defined by something that is in constant flux?
We all need to stop defining ourselves and judging ourselves for feeling emotions. Emotions just mean that we're humans and alive :)
Developing habits that serve your highest good
It is said that integrating a new habit takes 21 days. The first step is to decide and then commit. You want to have habits that are supporting you physical wellness, your emotional, mental and energy / spiritual wellness.
Raising your vibration is always what I recommend doing first and in this podcast episode, I'm giving you 40+ ways to do that so you can choose the ones you prefer and start implementing those who seem the more realistic and the more doable.
You can listen below or click here to save it for later on your favorite platform.
Taking baby steps
Have you ever heard the saying "Rome wasn't built in one day?" (actually Paris neither, in French we say "Paris wasn't built in one day" ;) ).
It's important to take baby steps... when you're on a hike to reach the top of the mountain, you're not going to run from the bottom to the top without taking breaks. Well, it's the same when it comes to reaching your goals.
You want to divide your bigger goal into smaller steps and milestones. That's how you build durable results.
It goes for the habits you want to create but also with tasks of course
I have a free task management planner that you can unlock below.
Benefits of personal development coaching (aka self-leadership coaching)
From my own experience and also my clients':
taming your mind / ego, controlling your thoughts for less "mind noise" and more mental clarity
releasing emotional baggage and learning how to channel your emotions (= accepting and letting them flow) so you feel more emotional balance and can be more present with others during your working day but also during your time with your loved ones
more self-understanding, leading to a better relationship with yourself and therefore with others
no more negative self-talk, more self-compassion - check out my podcast episode here: 7 reasons not to talk negatively about yourself:
owning your personal power, knowing that even if you can't control everything, you can control your reactions to situations, you therefore avoid making yourself suffer by engaging in negative scenarios but you envision the best outcome
growth mindset: you see things in terms of lessons and experiences that you can grow from
you take action and you know which action to take, the days of procrastination are over
less stress and anxiety, you know how to process your own "stuff" and talk yourself through, you've learnt to regulate your nervous system in times of tension and you know what to do for yourself before it builds up and becomes out of control
you shift your perception on mistakes, regrets and failures, you don't fear these anymore, you therefore trust yourself to make decisions knowing you have your own back and would always know what to do even if things wouldn't turn out as you'd hope
you unlock your full potential and soul gifts, you stop playing small and start becoming more and more unapologetically yourself
you overcome prosperity blocks, you open yourself to receiving, you don't fear leaving people behind anymore if you succeed because you know that people who are meant to stay in your life will stay anyway and your happiness doesn't take anything away from anyone
you understand that everyone is responsible for their own results, you therefore let go of the need to help everyone or even save everyone and you just take a step further in your self-leadership embodiment, you want to inspire others to also become self-leaders and work on their personal development. You don't chase or try to convince, you are fully present and respond to life
you stop seeing others as competitors, you see that there's room for everyone because no one can do what you do in the same way as you
you have self-discipline, you know the importance of being committed yet you also know when to indulge without harming yourself or destroying your efforts
you have a routine that contributes to making you feel good. Everyone has their own routine and their own way of seeing what a routine should be.
That's how important self-leadership coaching is and how you can improve your life and create a reality in which you thrive and free yourself from limitations.
If you'd like to know more about how to work together with me, you can check out my Unshakeable program to create your thriving business through mindset, subsconsious & enery rewiring. If you'd rather have a conversation "in person", feel free to book your free clarity call here. I'd be happy to connect with you!