I've been reflecting a lot on the topics of self-sabotage, perfectionism, shame and guilt and how they all connect together.
As entrepreneurs, we self-sabotage a lot without knowing we are doing it. Why? Because there are many ways for us to self-sabotage undercover.
In this article, we will cover:
Improving your life by overcoming self-sabotage: 9 examples of life-changing outcomes
9 Signs of self-sabotaging behaviors
Before I give you a few signs of a self-sabotaging behavior, I would like to advise you to please read this without judging yourself. The fact you're reading this means you are searching for solutions, so don't be hard on yourself, ok? :)
We've all been there, these patterns happen by layers: when you grow and move past a pattern, as you reach your next level of growth and success, you'll be facing another layer, it's normal, it's human.
Growth isn't linear, it's an expansive motion, a spiral going outwards.
Sometimes, you feel you have gone backwards, it's because you're revisiting patterns before growing to your next level.
Awareness is always the 1st step :)
So, here are 9 signs of self-sabotage
feeling unmotivated, even if you love what you do, because you haven't seen your desired results yet
procrastination: delaying doing a specific task - even one that could make a big difference in your business and life - so you postpone it. You can even dread doing it because you know it can take you out of your comfort zone and your nervous system is sending subconscious "danger" signals For example, you haven't replied to an email to accept an opportunity that could move you forward. You're waiting until the last minute to do so.
Starting with secondary tasks within your comfort zone, you feel like you have accomplished something, but you still feel unsatisfied because deep within you know this is not what's going to bring you clients, money or grow your impact. These secondary tasks are making you feel busy but busy doesn't always mean productive
Feeling that "something" is holding you back
Perfectionism: feeling that you need to be "ready" and have "everything together" before you do the "scary things" that will bring your desired outcomes. You feel that everything needs to be perfect before you take action, so you waste time and energy in doing, redoing, overthinking...
Over-planning and overthinking small things but you don't have a "bigger picture" plan; you know what you want to achieve but you're not sure how to get there, you lack clarity and you end up feeling overwhelmed. Over-planning and overthinking are a mix of perfectionism and procrastination
Being hard on yourself and having high (almost unrealistic) expectations on yourself, tendency to blame yourself or even punish yourself, seeing the glass half-empty.
As long as you will not see the results you're aiming for, you think you don't deserve to celebrate your small wins.You get discouraged if you don't see instant results (seeking outside validation)
Searching for inspiration and ideas "out there" because you feel your ideas aren't good enough and that "nothing is working"
Once again, it's ok if you recognised yourself in one of more of these points, what matters is the awareness that is being raised right now so that you can change.
It's not too late, you're not done, you're not "messed up", all is well, you're about to have a breakthrough and reach your next level :)
If you'd like help to break through your next level, I have a shamanic breakthrough session that can help you bring subconscious and energy blocks to your consciousness so you can release them and get rid of them to move forward. Check it out here.
4 deeper causes of self-sabotaging behaviors
I'm going to share deeper causes of self-sabotage - most of the time, they are subconscious. These causes can come from ancestral lineage (patterns you inherited from and are repeating subconsciously), from past or parallel lives and of course from childhood.
Subconscious feeling of unworthiness, or not "being good enough" ex: "I don't deserve this", "I'm not worthy of xyz" Even if you consciously know that you do deserve the best and that you are worthy of reaching your desired level of success, income and impact, something in your subconscious mind can happen to create hindrances. Usually it's a false belief (aka false programming) that is coming from something that you have experienced.
Fear of success: once again, you do know that you can succeed and that you are worthy of being successful but there are things causing the fear of succeeding. Ex: fear of not being able to maintain the level of success, fear of being judged, of losing friends or of being used / taken advantage, fear of not having enough time to deal with everything, of being overwhelmed
Prosperity blocks related to past lives: you might have made a vow of selfless service or of poverty in a past life that is still creating blocks in this lifetime. You're still tied by this vow (which is like a contract) and you need to break it. You can find a workshop I hosted on August 23rd 2022 to help you release prosperity blocks (including breaking past life vows).
Impostor syndrome: this comes from self-doubt and a lack of self-confidence in your own abilities, it's not your fault. You were probably not encouraged, supported or validated as a small child, so you feel like a fraud and you're afraid of being exposed as such if you have more impact and attract eyes on you. I know it goes deeper than that but let me share one fact with you, the simple fact that you're afraid of being an impostor is the very proof that you aren't an impostor! (real impostors don't fear being impostors, they just focus on creating illusion and distraction - so there you go, you're not an impostor :) )
If you could use some support and empowerment to overcome self-sabotage, procrastination, heal shame, guilt and unapologetically unlock your potential so that you can show up in your business to grow your impact and trust yourself to take "imperfect" actions that bring you closer to your dreams, check out my 3-month mentorship program called "From self-sabotage to Unlimited".
It's a 1:1 and it will tremendously help you accelerate your journey to embodied self-leadership and to become successful AND fulfilled.
If you'd like to chat about it first to see if it corresponds to your needs, no worries, click the button below and let's connect :)
And before I end this blog, let me show you the benefits of uncovering subconscious blocks that create self-sabotage.
9 beautiful outcomes of overcoming self-sabotage
9 beautiful things that happen when you overcome self-sabotage, you:
stop wasting time because you confidently make decisions without fear of success or of making a mistake, you end your day feeling accomplished
increase your productivity: your mind works for you (not against you) for more mental clarity and focused actions
invest your energy in things that bring results and move the needle forward so you can grow your impact (instead of chasing your tail)
create more money
say goodbye to frustration, stress and anxiety, instead you feel satisfied, fulfilled and feel more inner peace
show up more consistently, you stop playing small and you allow yourself to unlock your full potential
have more free time and make the most of it, enjoying the present moment
trust yourself, trust your intuition and confidently make decisions without fear of making a mistake
more joy, a more loving inner speech, improved mood, health & relationships
I hope this helped and I'm looking forward to connecting with you,