If only my teacher had taught me about triggers and how to stop impulsive reactions!
Misconceptions about impulsive reactions
I don't know about you, but when I was a child and a teenager, I used to think that reacting impulsively was mainly about anger outburst or slamming doors violently. Probably because that's what I had witnessed... and I used to judge those reactions as bad and scary (from a child's perspective, this type of impulsivity is obviously scary, that's a fact!)
But as I grew in awareness during my personal growth and self-improvement journey, I had a few realizations that I'l love to share with you:
impulsive reactions and behaviors are actually everything that we can't or don't control in the 1st place: yes, it can be anger management issues, slamming doors, hitting a wall, but it could also be running away from a situation, starting crying without being able to hold back your tears. It can also be freezing, not knowing how to react, not finding words. Or even binge eating, self-punishment... Actually, any form of addiction...
it's as if a switch was turned on, something happens deep within that you can't fathom with your conscious brain
it's a matter of energy and resonance at a cellular level (and I teach about this more in depth during my mentorship programs) so in case you ever felt bad for "not controlling yourself", please know that it's a process and be gentle with yourself.
let go of any judgment towards yourself or others, impulsive reactions are the top of the iceberg, the pain is buried and you can only see the result of the pain (the reaction in question).
it's not your fault, but as a leader, it's your responsibility to change that and I am here to confirm that it is possible!
From Impulsive reactions to finding balance
Controlling impulsive behaviors and reactions seems so easy when you hear about mindset shift techniques... Doesn’t it? But there’s of course more to it…
I remember the first time I learnt about the notion of “ego”, especially in the "spiritual community" back in the days... I even worked with a coach who used to shame and just blame it all on "ego" ("this is your ego" as if it was something bad).
Yes, ego is a defense mechanism (such as Freud had established, his daughter Anna wrote a book about it) so it's obvious that if it's a reaction from the ego to defend the self, obviously a danger or trauma originally created this reaction.
So why would anyone be blamed for these very reactions? You can't know what you haven't learnt yet. But once you know, it is your duty towards yourself to heal and self-improve (because you're a leader and you deserve the best life!)
The trigger is the factor that is going to launch the said impulsive reaction or behavior.
A trigger can be: a specific smell, sound, sentence, situation... anything that is going to be reminding you of / associated with the initial trauma.
So with all that being said, I thought all I needed to stop being triggered and reacting "uncontrollably" was a few mindset tips to apply... until I realized that everything that has to do with emotional triggers and impulsive reactions needed to be approached differently (and not "just with a few mindset coaching tips”.)
I started to search online for methods to go deeper but I never found what I was looking for.
All of a sudden, it came to me from within, I realized triggers had a deeper origin than “just the ego” and it was possible to deactivate them once for good at a cellular level and finally find balance!
You can check out my Podcast titled "What you need to know about triggers and impulsive reactions here:
So here are 3 things I wish someone had told me about triggers and impulsive reactions back then!
What you feel is valid and there is a reason for it, you are not “crazy” or “mentally unstable” for having triggers and reacting “impulsively” for seemingly “small things”
you can learn to realize when you’re being triggered, which enables you not to react impulsively and not to give any power to external situations anymore
Triggers are an opportunity to resolve unfinished businesses, it’s your subconscious mind catching your attention on something that is unresolved
And here’s a 4th thing, just because…
You can deactivate your triggers once for good and it does NOT have to take long…
Does any one of those in particular resonate with you?
I’d love to hear, feel free to comment and share your thoughts so we can connect!
PS: lf you'd like to connect in a more personal way, you could also book your free clarity call so I can help you see what your next steps are on your personal development plan.
Related article: How to control impulsive reactions