- Morgane Self-Leadership Mentor
7 habits to quit and replace for self-improvement and happiness
We all have habits that don't necessarily serve our highest good. In this article I'm going to name a few from a place of non-judgment and suggest actions you can do instead, you'll also get affirmations, journal prompts and global information that will help you reprogram your mind and shift your perspective.
My goal is to help because I used to have most of these habits (6,5 out of 7) so I just want to say I know how it feels and I also know it's possible to shift.
This share is from an empowerment perspective on your self-improvement journey. This will help you bring more balance emotionally and mentally (thought patterns) and be in "observer mode".
So let's dive in :)
These toxic habits are harmful and low vibrational, they don't bring anything positive and there's no benefit in keeping them.
Harmful habits to stop out of self-love and not out of self-judgment or rejection
When you want to change toxic or harmful habits, it's important to do this from a place of self-love and not to reject or judge yourself, not belittle or shame yourself for these.
Here are these 7 habits I want to talk about.
perfectionism:
Not only perfection does not exist but it is also subjective, what is perfect to you might not be to someone else. By trying to make everything "perfect", you are wasting your time and energy, chasing something that doesn't exist. Plus what seems perfect to you right now, might not seem perfect in 2 weeks' time. By trying to make things "perfect", you are also projecting what other people might think and you tend to get lost in "what ifs", this could hide a fear of being judged or a wound of not feeling enough. Perfectionism is a trauma response. Usually it comes from childhood. What to do instead:
Trust that you are doing your best. Doing your best is enough, it is the remedy to perfectionsm.
Next time you catch yourself trying to do something perfectly, tune back into your heart and ask yourself, "Have I done my best?" and if the answer is "yes", that's all you need.
Your best can change as you evolve and grow. Don't be hard on yourself, instead, congratulate yourself for taking action.
Let "Action over perfection" be your new motto :)
self-judgment:
Judgment is subjective and doesn't bring anything productive. Judging yourself comes from a place of not being satisfied with yourself or your work. It is usually accompanied with self-reproaches and self-criticism, even negative self-talk.
What to do instead:
Replace self-judgment by self-questioning in a constructive and loving way.
For example, instead of saying "I'm too <insert negative word here>, I will never learn", try saying "I am noticing that instead of doing xyz, I could have done differently, I'm grateful I am seeing it now so I will know for next time."
And more generally ask yourself
- "How can I improve from there?"
- "What did I learn from this experience?"
self-doubt:
Oh that voice of self doubt, that "what if"... we all have it! But doubting yourself is counter-intuitive. Doubting means you're not sure about something, maybe you struggle to make decisions because you weren't taught to validate yourself as a child (it's very common!).
Let me share some food for thoughts with you.
Decision making: the origins of your blocks & how to remove them - Podcast Episode
In this short & sweet episode, I'm sharing some thoughts and my perspective on the origins of your blocks and struggles when it comes to making decisions. I'm of course sharing ideas and advice on how to remove those blocks that you can apply, that includes a short connection with yourself, journal prompts and food for thoughts.
What to do instead:
Cultivating self-confidence is the best remedy.
It is not always easy but when we know that we are always doing our best with good intentions and in a mindful way, this doesn't not leave much room for doubt.
imagining negative or worse-case scenarios:
This is not productive and can't help you, why not imagine the best for yourself?
Remember thoughts create emotions, thoughts are electric and emotions are magnetic.
Use the power of your mind to create the reality you want to see and be intentional.
What to do instead: 2 things to choose from:
- if you really want to get reassurance, use the negative scenario in a way that you'd prove yourself that no matter what, you would be ok - this is something to be done mindfully and in a way that you don't get caught up in the negative, without negative emotions but clearly with a healing intention.
That's what I call the "then what" method, to prove your mind that no matter what it can come up with, you would always find a solution.
If you need help with this "then what" method, let me know.
- if you catch yourself starting to panic and think of the worst-case scenario, thank yourself for becoming aware of it and switch to a positive scenario.
"If I can imagine the worst, I can use my energy to imagine and create the best, because I deserve it!"
worrying:
This will not help you and won't change anything to the situation you are facing. It will only feed a negative spiral of thoughts and bring your emotions down, making your energy level drop. What to do instead:
Listen to your worries in a detached way meaning observe them without engaging, acknowledge, thank you mind / ego for wanting to keep you safe and decide not to believe the voice of worries.
"Thank you, mind, for wanting to warn me, but I am safe. Everything will turn out fine."
Here is something that can also help you worry less.
Shift your perspective about mistakes for a better life - mindset coaching podcast episode
complaining:
Complaining doesn't help, however there is a difference between expressing your opinion and feelings by stating facts (which can be healthy and productive) and complaining (which will not solve any situation and cultivate negative vibrations).
So if you think you are complaining, ask yourself "Am I complaining? or am I stating how I feel?"
What do do instead:
Acknowledge that it is healthy and totally ok to express your feelings and emotions, you are allowed to dislike something or to disagree.
Simply be mindful of the emotions that you are sending you and of the words you are using.
Think in terms of solutions, if there's something you can change, know that you have the power to change it.
wanting to be in control:
Control is only an illusion because we can never control everything anyway... It is similar to perfectionism, in a sense. A need to feel safe, to know that we have planned everything.
What to do instead:
Here too, doing your best is enough, trusting that you have done your best.
Taking responsibility for what is in your hands and trusting that everything will unfold as it is supposed to. And if something unplanned happens, trust that you will always know what to do and find a solution.
Here are a few affirmations to develop your success mindset and self-trust:
"I trust that no matter what happens, I always come up with a solution and I always have my own back"
"I always come up with ideas and I always come out of unplanned situations in an efficient way"
"I trust my nervous system, I am always safe"
"I allow myself to let go of the need to control because my inner guidance always tells me what to do"
Improve your life step by step for durable results
I understand how impatient you can be to reach your goals. But here is something that I have experienced and I can testify of: starting small is the guarantee to long-term success in creating new habits and your dream life.
Big changes and big goals don't have to take time, break them down, create new habits and you'll see results faster than you'd think!
That's how you cultivate your growth and success mindset for a happier life.
Here is a podcast episode to help you improve your life step by step for durable results:
I hope this article helps you reach your self-improvement goals and develop more self-love and self-acceptance, therefore more joy, positivity and happiness in your daily life.
If you'd like to have a chat about how you could accelerate your self-improvement journey and clear the subconscious blocks hidden behind some habits you're working on quitting, let's connect.
I'm looking forward to connecting with you,
Take care,
Morgane